been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
