Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
