just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sext me about skeletons
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize