just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
