It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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