Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she told me i tasted like america
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
