Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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