just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
