Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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