It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
