yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize