"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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