So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i now understand why vodka
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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