I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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