holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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