Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
