this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
