Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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