Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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