I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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