Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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