Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize