If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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