no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
