I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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