i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
