I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
