ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize