remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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