it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Four minutes until I can fart!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
