remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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