I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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