I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
