this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
