After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
