Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
