Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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