i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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