Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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