pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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