i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just google imaged poop.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
