We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
