just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
