it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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