i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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