You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
