Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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