Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
