I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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