Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
