help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
