Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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