Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
