Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
