the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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