oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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