Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need to calm my uterus...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
