So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize