so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
