if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
