Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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