Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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