and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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