I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
