just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
