it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
