thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
