I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
