It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
