I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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