Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
