oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
