and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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