what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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