it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
