Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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